women love to shop. it is the one area of the world where they feel they’re totally in control
women especially love a bargain. the question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. anything on sale is fair game
women never have anything to wear. don’t question the racks of clothes in the wardrobe. you ‘just don’t understand
women need to cry. and they wont do it alone unless they know you can hear them
woman will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty
women love to talk. silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say
women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. that’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey type shows are so successful
women don’t need sex as often as men do. this is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. just knowing that the man wants to hace sex fulfills the emotional need
women hate bugs. Even female martial arts experts need a man around when there’s a spider or wasp involved
women cant keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view their gabbing as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people
women always go to public toilets in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip
women cant refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing
women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch
women think all beer is the same
women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower, as well as at least 10 sundry items
after a women showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rainforest
women don’t understand the appeal of contact sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be
if a man goes on a seven day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven day trip. She’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day
women brush their hair before bed
watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you’ll have a pretty good idea about how she’ll be in bed
women have better rest rooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet
the average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. a man would not be able to identify most of these items
women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats
women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours
a woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail
women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut
women do not want an honest answer to the question, ‘how do I look?’
PMS stands for: Permissible Man Slaughter. (or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Punish My Spouse)
The first naked man women see is ‘ken’
Women are insecure about their weight, butt and breast size
Women will male three left hand turns to avoid making one right hand turn
‘oh, nothing,’ has an entirely different meaning in woman language than it does in man language
women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading
all women are overweight by definition, don’t argue with them about it
all women are overweight by definition, don’t agree with them about it
if it is not Valentines Day, and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, ‘what did you do?
Only women understand the reason for ‘guest towels and ‘good china’
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested
